Scared.

Wow you guys, I am so scared right now. 😦 Have you ever worked for something SO hard and sacrificed not only part of you but your family as well only to find out that maybe that something isn’t what you really wanted after all?

I am having a really difficult time at work. I don’t want to go into all the details or anything, but things aren’t lining up the way I wanted/expected them to. So now I have to sit back and ask myself so many questions. Is this something that happens to all nurses once they start their new jobs? Is this actually what I want I just happen to be frustrated and new? What exactly is it that’s making me so stressed out and depressed?

This is so hard for me. I feel like I come home from work crying, I spend my time with my family crying, and I leave for work crying. That’s abnormal, you guys. A-B-N-O-R-M-A-L. I have had the past four days off of work and the only thing I continually think about is the fact that I have to return to work on Tuesday. *sigh*

I haven’t been able to fully enjoy my weekend off with my family. I’ve been crying constantly and worrying my husband. I feel like I’ve been putting off my sweet little boy and that makes me cry more. I have no idea what to do.

Have any of you ever changed careers so early on? Am I the only one who thinks that maybe the career path they chose and spent so much time (and other people’s money on…*cringe*) just isn’t what they thought it would be? Ack. I hope this passes.

Oh, and p.s. here was the daily quote I found in my email: “The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.” -Gen. Norman Schwarzkoff

Totally unfair ’cause I swear I don’t know what to do. Jerk daily quote.